Grief was something I was very aware of when I was a small child. When I should have been playing and having the time of my life and not have a care in the world. What was I doing? I would pray that my mom and dad, grandparents, and family would be with me always. Fast forward I’m a senior in high school my dad passed away two months before I graduated. The night he passed away I was out with friends shooting pool when he had a massive heart attack. The grief of losing my dad was bad enough, but the feeling that had I been there I could have gotten help sooner made it worse.
I have lost people since, but I think the grief of losing my dad numbed me to the point I couldn’t grieve like that again. I feel that I cheat the others memory by not grieving the same way.